I shall say..
This is my last post on this blog..
I wanna change to another username but dun wanna delete this blog cos it has memories..

Noon, we still met..
Went to bugis and were looking things for his family for xmas..
even did a card with my sincerity and wrote till i cry..

then the response were..
"Jon passed me a card fm u. After reading it, i tink tat since both of u had been together 4 4years, u shld by right understand him VERY WELL by now. If u sincerely luv him, i dun tink u will find problems so often n treat him in this manner. I shld tink tat lack of trust n communication is an 'EXCUSE'. If real love exists, these rr nt the 'REAL' reasons. A person will mature n be independent 4 sure, be it early or late. Mayb u dun hv the patience to see it. Or maybe u hv found someone who cares n understand u better than Jon, then I WISH U ALL THE BEST!"

I was really so pissed! Trust and communication is the basic. of cos it is important! i understand him.. then haf he ever understands me? hu ever understands how i feel? and wat manner haf i treat him? does anyone sees how he treat me? leaving me in lurch when i'm sick and jus dump me aside when he has other commitment which we agreed to spend the day together? doubting me and suspecting me whenever there's a fren that's not female? and wat haf i done? that is to haf faith in him and noe that he will change. But it nv happen for 3 years. But i nv blamed him at all. but I reli ran out of patience and m reli too tired. all these while, effort done but nv appreciated only blames. yet i tahan for 4years. am i not good enough?

the next sms..
"In that case, i shld say u had been toying his feelings all this whiles cos he's nt as 'intelligent' as u. Bt its surprising to realise only after 4 years that basic trust n comm does nt exist or cnt be tolerated anymore. Anyway the decision is yours, n tat u hv made the right one."

WTF! I toy with his feelings? if i wanna toy rt.. i would have left long ago! wat for i tolerate for 4 years? and it's not realise after 4 years. IT ALREADY EXISTED SINCE THE BEGINNING but i trust and have faith in him. Let him hurt me over n over again thinking it's ok cos i noe he wun hurt me anymore. But each time it hit me hard. and such words rained on me. Dun I have my choice to persue MY LIFE? I'm not her child so she has no rt to control MY LIFE. and only his son is precious? I M MY MUM'S PRECIOUS DAUGHTER AS WELL!

the last sms..
"I shld say u r giving all kinds of excuses jus to leave him. If u hv found a partner, then just go ahead. U dun hv to worry, i will definitely let him be independent 'GRADUALLY'. "

Whatever! ya i giving excuses. I DUN GIVE A DAMN in explaining. Cos it's myself i have to explain to. I dun even haf to explain to anyone but i still choose to cos i wanna show my gratitude towards them and now i've done my part. Mouth is theirs. say watever they want.

and for Jon,
I have never regret being with u.
Neither m i angry with u.
but stop looking for me i dun wan ur mum to say i kidnap u.
each time there's a prob ur mum will intervene. being with u is reli stressful.
all the time it happens u jus tell me to ignore. y not u tell em not to intervene?
saying such harsh words reli hurt.
and no nid to wait till xmas le.
We will end it off here.
still be frens but not close frens cos i dun wanna have any issues with ur mum.
she will protect u for life.
lastly, thanx and bye.
All the best to u.

Good Morning!
Slept at 2am woke up at 10am today.
wa shiok man..
latest time i slept and latest time i woke up.
previous night sleept too early le..
Yesterday too high..
msn entertaining Von and Lennon.
Haha and thanx to them for entertaining me.. was so bored la.

So i weighed myself in the morning..
39.3kg
but of cos will increase.. cos i haben eat anything yet
so no wories.. hahahahahaha..
meeting Von 12.30pm at Lot 1..
yea. going sakae..
I shall eat chawanmushi and drink coke!
hahaahahahhaahahhahahaha!

I shall post again tonight.
shall bring my cam out.. hohoho.. cos night is dinner with my family and ah por.. =)

Tmr morning i am seeing doctor for my knee.
Then meeting L for movie.. super honored eh.. hahahahahahha!